If you’ve never had an addiction, this can be hard to understand. What motivates an addict to continue their addiction despite the costs? Each person’s addiction experience is unique. This article is intended to encourage understanding of people with addiction, not to portray or stigmatize any individual or groups.
Imagine for a moment that you never really felt comfortable with who you are.
It could be because you failed at everything you tried. Or because you were never satisfied with the level of success you achieved. It may be because you had thoughts and emotions that made you feel different from others. Especially if you felt less good or lovable than others. Or maybe you were told, or shown, that you were no good, worthless. Or only existed to meet the needs of others.
None of the things that people around you felt good about pleasing you. Either because you had denied them or because the experience was hollow and unfulfilling in some way.
So, imagine you have an experience – you drink, take a drug, win a bet or a game, experience sex, eat too much. Or buy something for yourself, and suddenly everything feels good. You feel like success is easy and just for you. Which maybe others don’t understand, but now it’s good to be alive.
There’s finally something you can rely on to feel good about yourself.
It can be easy to get what feels good – for a drug addict, a quick trip to the convenience store. And a few bucks can replenish your M&M supplies – or it might be difficult, for a heroin addict costing a lot of money. Money, significant risks, and interacting with people you can’t trust.
But compared to how empty you felt before, investing in the chance that you can feel good about yourself. And your life again is what matters. You can also get family therapy near me to get your issues resolved.
Finding belonging and experiencing consequences
Of course, the others don’t understand. But it just makes you want to hang out with people who understand. Whose addictions make them feel exactly the way you do. You don’t even require talking about it with them – between you there is previously an interpretation. So now you don’t feel like an outsider, you feel like an insider, a member of a secret club.
Of course, there is a price to pay. You might put on or lose weight, experience transformation health problems. Or lose a great deal of money, relationships, o things r. But none of that made you happy anyway, and, at least for a short time, your addiction does.
The more people criticize you. The more you need to get ease in that wonderful feeling you have from your addiction. The more others teach you what you should be doing with your life. The more convinced you are that they don’t know what they are talking about. Sure, you wish what they were saying was true, but underneath, you know a normal life was never for you.
Except you long for a normal life.
You wish you could be satisfied with the things that seem to make others happy. Such as getting a degree, a career, and a family. But to get these things, or to experience them the way you want to. You must believe in yourself, and that self-confidence has always eluded you.
Wanting a cure and feeling stuck
Most addicts struggle with a double life. Try to keep your addiction a secret from most people, most of the time, even when it’s obvious to those around you. Have a hard time admitting that being an addict is a problem because no matter how fleeting, your addiction gives you that moment of everything being OK.
Want a remedy that will remove your addiction but not put you back where you started with all the losses you accumulated while you were addicted.
And this healing is possible for all drug addicts. But it does mean confronting the issues that caused the addiction in the first place, the deep dissatisfaction with yourself and your life. And taking responsibility for how your behavior affects others. It means learning to experience a sweeter sense of pleasure in the little things in life. And to deal with life’s many challenges and imperfections, without retreating into your addiction.